Want to love what you do? Do what you love!

The best employees are those that are highly motivated.  That motivation can present itself in many forms.  For a lot of people, it is the pure desire for a paycheck.  For others, it is praise of a job well done.  Some, however, are intrinsically motivated by the pure fact that they LOVE what they do.  They want to get up in the morning and get to work because they have found the career that suits them.  These employees are the ones that can have the biggest impact on a company, not because of their education or their connections, but because they care about what they are doing.  These are the employees that commit themselves to a job and take ownership.  While they may not be the fastest or the most educated, they are bound to be the most reliable and effective.  They are the ones who, when faced with setbacks, will power through.  When times are tough, they will be the people you look to for your own motivation. 

They key to loving what you do is to make sure that you are doing what you love.  If you have the opportunity to turn your hobby into a sustainable career, do it!  YOU will then become the intrinsically motivated one.  YOU will find that you are committing yourself, taking ownership, powering through setbacks, and people will look to YOU for their own motivation.  Ironically, as a result of your newfound intrinsic motivation, that will be secondary in importance to you.  What will really matter is that you are loving what you do because you are doing what you love.

 ***(Please, don’t take this as advice to suddenly quit your day job.  Time, patience, and persistence can be required to turn your hobby into something SUSTAINABLE.  In the end, it will be worth it, but make sure you do your homework first!)***

Finding Fraser: Hypocritical Romance

From the archives...

Hypocritical Romance    - Thursday, August 16, 2007

All kidding aside, I'm a hypocrit and just found out.

I was recently polling some friends and family on what they considered to be "grown-up romantic". Let's face it, I'll be 30 next month. The days of puppy eyes, hand written love poems and all other things gushy are behind me. Even when I do find Fraser, it's not going to bring them back.

I needed to bring myself into the reality that, Fraser or no Fraser, I'm a grown up now. No matter how many layers I peel away, scars I shed, or trees I climb, I am a grown up. To accomplish this snap to reality, I did a poll. I got lots of the expected, "Honey, I'll take out the garbage" "Honey, I got KFC for supper so you won't have to cook" "Honey, let's watch a movie after you put the kids to bed," etc. But I also got this: Romance is...

"doing special things for your special someone that you don't really have to do but you do them because you know they'll appreciate & enjoy them. It makes them feel special.:)"

Bingo. Slapped in the face by my own sister.

How many days/months/years have I walked around hoping I would be romanced? Far too many. How many days/months/years have I walked around trying to figure out how to romance my partner? Far too few. My job is to figure out the best way possible to show him (not tell him) that he's special, and appreciated. That doesn't mean I go out and wine, dine and candlelight dinner him. It means I actually take time out of my day to stop and think about what it is that would make him feel like he's the most important person in the world. Then I'm supposed to do it. Have I done that today? Doubtful. Do I know how? Well, I think I know where to start. Am I afraid he won't notice? Terrified. If he doesn't notice, will I try again? Hopefully. If he does notice? Then maybe I'll get romanced too.

Ah, and there lies the crux. Selfish and hypocricital. I think human nature leads us to want to be special and appreciated. But the point of doing these special things for your partner is supposed to be purely to show THEM how much you care, not to want it in return. So, knowing that you want to be romanced in return, do you not romance at all, to avoid the hypocritical crux? Or do you just give in, and light some candles?

The "Mac" Legacy

Inspiration comes in many forms.  I am lucky enough to have married into a family that has a very firm grasp on that.  EVERY member of my extended "Mac" family will whole-heartedly agree that Inspiration comes from those you choose to surround yourself with.  Now, different members may interpret that differently, but they ALL (and I'm talking 26 first cousins here, plus all of the married-in's like me) look to each other whenever they are in need of a laugh or a shared tear.

I was six months pregnant with my first born when Grandpa Mac passed away, 10 years ago today.  While I only knew him for a short time, I see the difference he has made in this world every day.  My extended family has been molded by his leadership, dedication, and ultimate devotion to family. 

Whether it be unfaltering dedication to bid euchre, fishing for damn nuisance sun fish, or crazy talk around the campfire, Grandpa Mac is always there.  Thank you, Grandpa Mac, from every generation.

Paradise

 (Yes, family, I realize it's actually Mc, but I didn't want it to be "Golden Arched" in reference)

Everyone is Inspired by Something.

Everyone is inspired by something.  A lucky few have figured out what their inspirational triggers are.  An even smaller few have developed ways to harness that inspiration and feed off of it.  My family is competitive.  I grew up competing with everyone in everything.  I ALWAYS had a goal and I usually missed it by “just that much”.  Now, I know that every time I see a child achieve their goals in any type of competition, I will cry tears of joy to celebrate their success.  I was once at the hockey arena watching my childcare providers’ eleven year old son win the league championship.  The parents of the children on the team smiled and applauded.  I cried.  I was at the national science fair awards ceremony for my adopted teenage daughter several months ago, I cried when she won her research scholarship to Israel, of course, but I also cried when other students whom I’d never even met won their dream awards as well.  Yes, I am an equal opportunity crier. 

Just yesterday, my son participated in the regional cross country finals for his school board.  The top 90 students from 95 different elementary schools across the region were competing.  I was so proud for him to come in 26^th.  Just moments before his race, however, came my true moment of inspiration.  Ten minutes after the girls race had apparently ended, the bicyclist that trailed the final runner in the race came into view over the crest in the hill.  Beside him, in an awkward combination of running, walking and hopping, a young girl was bound and determined to ignore her disability and achieve her goal.  The course that had just moments before been crowded with teachers and parents that were eager to wish their boys well was suddenly cleared.  This little girl received the largest and loudest standing ovation.  Everyone present was buoyed by the courage it took to finish the race when everyone else had come and gone so long ago.  Parents, teachers, officials, and other competitors applauded her effort and her spirit.  I cried. 

With Career Number 4, I have a new goal.  It should be fairly obvious.  When everyone else has come and gone, I intend to finish the race.  Missing so many things by “just that much” can do severe damage to your self-confidence.  But it can also serve as inspiration.  I have been given the opportunity to try so many different things in life, and have had the support of so many people, encouraging and allowing me to attempt so many things.    Just as the coaches and organizers of the cross country finals had faith that including this young girl in the regional finals was the right decision to make, so many coaches, teachers, and others have had faith that including me in their teams, groups, organizations, etc. was the right decision as well.  That is something I will always carry with me as personal inspiration.  Being at a crossroads in my career, I am now competing for employment.  Every time I rewrite my cover letter for a particular position, I am competing for an interview.  I was raised to compete.  I am competing again.  This time, instead of watching others succeed and win, shedding tears of joy to celebrate their victory, I would like it to be celebrating my own.  I will finish this race, even if by "just that much".

Thankful for Happiness

My book of recommendation for October is most definitely, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Not everyone needs, wants, or has the ability to take on something so ambitious as to spend an entire year "test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier", but thankfully, Gretchen has done that for us.  Now, we can each look to her experiences, take a few small nuggets of inspiration, and grow on them.

To me, the biggest lesson held within the pages of Rubin's book is that it is actually okay to want to be happier.  We are often left feeling like there could be more out in the world for us, even when life and circumstances have blessed us with many things.  Just as frequently, we are told (either directly or indirectly, by society and ourselves) how guilty we should feel for wanting to explore those opportunities. 

Well, guess what?  My name is Dana Nokes and I am very thankful for the many wonderful people, places, and opportunities I have had in this life.  But I want more.  I want to write.  I want to inspire.  I want to travel.  I want to entertain.  I want to enlighten.  I want to teach.  I want to grow.  I want to make a difference.

I am thankful for my current happiness, but even more thankful for the freedom and ability to pursue dreams and goals to become even happier.

Career Number 4 should be, um, happy?  (yeah, that doesn't really work, but oh well.)

By the way, Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians!

Top 10 things everyone MUST do in their 30's

What are the top 10 things you must do in your Thirtys?


10 - Play with food -  Try to cook your way through any cookbook (Julie & Julia style, of course...), or atleast dabble in "sustainable living" (you know, live local, buy local, eat local)

9 - Buy a Feng Shui book - attempt to Feng Shui your home and quickly give up when you realize your chi just ain't cutting it.

8 - Join a gym -  quit the gym, and then complain about how much you need to go to a gym.

7 - Drink wine -  even if you don't like it.  (And if you like it enough, you can relocate your entire family and career so you can live closer to it...)

6 - Manage your childs sports team - I could have said... "Dabble in Politics", but really, what's the difference?

5 - Run your own business - A legal business would be a bonus... you know... Partylite, Scentsy, that kind of thing.... but, who am I to judge?

4 - Two words... Man Cave.

3 - Two more words... Road Trip! - Ok, a lot of people may think this should go in the "twenty's" category and that "travel" would be more accurate for thirty's.  But... too bad.  make your own list.

2 - Change your career -  atleast twice.  (Make sure to blog about it atleast once... don't forget!)

and...

1 - Buy a mini van - That's right!  Everybody, parent or not, needs to own a minivan.  If you managed to escape your twenty's without one, now is the time to pimp yourself out, soccer mom style... 

The Cricket Won't Stop Chirping

The cricket won’t stop chirping.  In the crisp autumn air, sweet with the scent of dew, I stop to listen to the beauty of nature.  But, I can’t hear it.  The cricket won’t stop chirping. I see the tree branches swaying and long to hear the melodic sound the maple leaves make as they hurry past each other in the wind, only to hurry back again, in a never ending cascade of sound.  But I can’t.  The cricket won’t stop chirping.  The gentle plink of dew droplets, slowly tumbling to the ground, thankful for anything that slowed their descent.  But I can’t.  The cricket won’t stop chirping.  Hundreds of birds have passed by, each on its own mission, yet flying together in a synchronized wave, music choreographed in the sky.  A few yards away, the gentle ripple of the river, restlessly fighting with the rocks that have refused to budge in haste.  I want to listen to the beauty of nature around me, but I can’t.  The cricket won’t stop chirping.

It may well be that what you are looking for is the very thing standing right in front of you.  Does that mean that I stop searching for career number 4?  No.  But neither will I dismiss the validity of the “influence” that I can have in the various roles I embody on a daily basis.  Thank you for being my tree branches, maple leaves, rain drops, and birds in the sky.  

Career number 4 should be focused on my community.